What is Love?

I was praying the other day, and God, like so many times before, dropped a scripture in my mind.  It is an interesting little byte, and I went to bed with it on my mind.

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

John 15:13

This morning I woke up with an overwhelming feeling of sorrow.  A dear friend of mine that I graduated from college with was on my mind.  I don't know why I felt that way, but I started to pray for her and her family, but the feeling wouldn't go away, so I got up and took a shower.  Now, anyone that knows me knows I'm a night owl.  I'm more likely to be going to bed at 5AM than getting up at 5AM, but I couldn’t lay awake in bed and I didn’t know what more to pray for my friend.  Hey, if I’m up I may as well get cleaned up.  

I don’t know about the rest of the world, but the front porch (pacing up and down it) and the shower are the two most likely places that God gets my attention.  I know, it’s weird, but everyone has to find their own closet and, for the record, I did not choose it (them), God did.  Anyway, God began to open up the verse on "greater love" in more detail than the night before.  What he opened up the night before was enough to convict me on soooooo many levels, this morning added depth to it.  

Any disciple of Yeshua that has been or is married can probably relate to this little story….

An elderly man was being interviewed on a radio program one day.  The topic had shifted to how long he and his wife had been married….over 60 years!  The host asked the gentleman if, in all those years, he had ever considered divorce.  The elderly gentleman replied…”divorce – No, murder – Yes”.

Generally, no matter how mad I am at my husband, that story will make me smile, at least a little (though there are times when the smile may be more from the mental prospect than the humor.)  I know, that’s not much like a disciple of Yeshua, but it's how I feel sometimes, I’d be lying if I said different.

I’m not going to share the whole story right now, but suffice it to say that I began to think about the “greater love….”  I thought, no matter how mad I have been with Lawrence, if someone else tried to harm him, I would try and stop them, even if it cost me my own life.  Then I got hit with a deeper understanding of that verse.  Laying down your life does not just mean your physical life.  It means laying down YOUR LIFE.  That means laying down my “right” to be right, my “right” to be mad, my “right” to feel justified in being mad at my husband, my “right” to be angry that we never had children, my “right” to be angry that he didn’t do things MY way, my “right” to anything.  This is true love.  

I was blown away by what God was showing me, but He wasn’t done yet.  God gave me life, both physical and eternal, the greatest gifts I have ever been given.  I was willing to sacrifice my physical life for my husband but I wasn’t willing to lay down MY LIFE - my wants and demands and self-centered, petty, controlling, I’m gonna get even with him, feelings.  It hit me how I have cheapened the gifts of God to me.  I would give up the priceless but not the worthless. YOUCH.   

Okay, now my toes are smashed, my heart is broken that I could be this way, and then in the middle of it I find myself thinking, “…yeah, but if he (my husband) wouldn’t be such a pain in the butt….”.  What a rebellious child I am.  I do not get the degree of Love that God has, who, in His great mercy, has not whacked me down and just taken me completely out.  To show me His Word, His Truth, and then I cop an attitude.

More on this later….time for work now.